So... this post is something that I was going to upload in the last week of April. There has been so much going on for this entire month that I did not have the energy to even write anything. See below what was first going to be written:
Back at it again with another blog entry post. How are you all dealing with the quarantine so far? For me, it has made me realized that I missed doing some things that I haven't done in so long. I really had to sit and think hard because when I am off on the weekend, I try to stay in the house to quarantine a little bit.
Everything that I initially wrote still applies to this day. My job was considered essential so I was still working every day and I was in the house on the weekends. While sitting at home, I realized all of the things I missed doing in my spare time. I missed reading, researching different things (history, family history), and watching movies. It also helped me realize more about myself too. I missed out on a lot of things because I was literally a hermit and was sitting at home, not doing anything. Then I realized that I hold many things in and never express myself fully. I felt as though people judged me for speaking my mind more and not allowing people to feel that they can talk over me- I have a voice too and it would be heard. To explain this more, there were times where I use to let a lot of things be said to me that were hurtful or things that I knew were not right but I let things slide past me. Basically, I have been mute to A LOT of things. It gets to the point where now I feel like I am at capacity- there is no space left for it.
The month of May has been pure hell for me, except for the new person that's in my life (you know who you are ;-)). Things that are not going great for me and my family that it is hurtful. The only way for me to express it is through my blog. I will probably get some calls after this but that's okay. I have been praying and asking God to guide me and my family and to heal what is broken. I pray that the Lord heal the bitterness, the trust that's broken, and the respect that was lost. God is going to heal and whatever is in his will, it will so.
Pieces of me,